50 Ways to Deport You

Lyrics by: Deb Scott
Gaggle: Sacramento Raging Grannies
Tune: 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover by Paul Simon
Date Written or Updated: 12/14/2025

Your accent sure sounds pretty Mexican to me
And my color scale …shows brown substantially
Your companion there… we can’t let her go free
There must be 50 ways to deport you

You say you’re born here, well that is no excuse
Your color’s wrong… and your language is abuse
I’ll strip you naked… and shoot if you refuse
There must be 50 ways to deport you
50 ways to deport you

Just get on the bus, Tomas
Hands on the wall, Raul
Spread your legs wide, Kai
And don’t resist me
Just get on the jet, Tareq
Hands and feet chained, Zane
Tear gas in your eyes, Guys
You’re coming with me

Just get on the bus, Tomas
Hands on the wall, Raul
Spread your legs wide, Kai
And don’t resist me
Just get on the jet, Tareq
Hands and feet chained, Zane
Tear gas in your eyes, Guys
You’ll never be free.

hey Rosita, leave those little kids behind
That man will take them…I’m sure they will be fine.
There is no exit! …Can’t you read the sign?
There’s 50 ways…. (Pause)

Hands and feet in shackles,
put your head down to your knees.
50 aliens to a cell built for 6 detainees.
you’ll disappear from life… while we throw away the keys
There must be 50 ways to deport you.
50 ways to deport you

Just get on the bus, Tomas
Hands on the wall, Raul
Spread your legs wide, Kai
And don’t resist me
Just get on the jet, Tareq
Hands and feet chained, Zane
Tear gas in your eyes, Guys
You’re coming with me

Just get on the bus, Tomas
Hands on the wall, Raul
Spread your legs wide, Kai
And don’t resist me
Just get on the jet, Tareq
Hands and feet chained, Zane
Tear gas in your eyes, Guys
You’re coming with me