The Condom Song

I used to wear a diaphragm
I used to take the pill
I smeared myself with every kind
Of contraceptive gel
But times have changed since then, my dear
So listen up to me
It’s your turn now for reproductive responsibility- soooooo
v1) You’ll wear a condom
A big rubber condom
And I’ll wear a great big smile!
‘Cause it ain’t gonna hurt ya
To don that gutta percha [another name for condom]
Now that safe sex is in style!
So take it out of your wallet
Whatever you call it
And stretch it for a mile
And put on your condom
Your big rubber condom
And I’ll put on my sexiest smile!
v2) You’ll wear a condom
A big rubber condom
And I’ll wear a negligee
‘Cause no one can doubt it
If you’re careless about it
It’s the woman who will pay
So if you’re getting excited
You don’t have to fight it
Just do it the boy scout way
And put on that condom
Your big rubber condom
And I’ll put on my negligee!

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