Well I know I’m past my prime but I’m feelin’ pretty fine,I’m finally finished with the Curse,
And though my belly’s saggin’ and my butt is really draggin’
I didn’t think it could get much worse.

I load on the sun screen and I’ve cut back on caffeine,
I always watch my cholesterol
I walk two miles a day and watch how much I weigh
The aging process to forestall.

But now the EPA, has a lot to say,
about things I just don’t understand,
like the ozone layer and pollutants in the air,
they talk about contaminated land.
Ooooh…

I’ve been havin’ dreams about sewage in the streams
so bottled water’s all I drink,
and in my dreams I’m chased by ghosts of toxic wastes
and I’m afraid to put my dishes in the sink!

And I don’t eat any dish that’s made with tuna fish
‘cause it just might contain mercury,
and I bought a pocket flask and a surplus gas mask
and I thought I’d be as safe as I can be.

But now I always sneeze and I’m starting to wheeze,
I worry about Mad Cow Disease,
no matter what I try, I’m probably gonna die
and the EPA, it just agrees..
Ooooh…

no matter what I try, I’m probably gonna die
and the EPA, it just agrees..